The last day of ordinary. When ace coder and uber-loner Duke Miller chances upon lush neighbour Gina Rossi, his life changes instantly. She’s better than a dream and appears just as broken as he feels. Whatever it takes, Duke is determined to win her heart - even if that means retiring as a professional a-hole.
But Duke’s not the only one with a viscid heart. Motormouth delivery girl Sabrina Belle develops her own super-size crush on Duke the minute she sets eyes on him. Duke’s not interested. His heart is won, and there’s no prize for second place. But, as things become trickier with Gina, mad pizza girl soon becomes a valuable ally in trying to win her over.
To add to Duke’s growing woes, his adored sister Kelly falls in love with his childhood nemesis, Lawrence Beenie. Duke is devastated. And Beenie is no longer the disgusting runt he was at school - he’s a gym-toned Adonis and smooth as fresh cream - but still every inch a bully. Duke can forget all about normal. Love. Is it really worth the sacrifice?
Click for Chapter 1
The Last Day of Normal
She’s going to hate me. All hot women do.
Duke Miller knew one thing and one thing only about women. They were fickle. He knew this from years of living with his sister, Kelly. One minute they liked something, the next they didn’t, simply because of a one degree change in the temperature or because the gentle evening zephyr subtly shifted direction, or because of one discordant word or incongruous colour. Women, Duke believed, were visceral creatures, steered by emotions no algorithm from NASA, Google, Apple or Microsoft with all their combined resources could ever hope to model. In comparison men were monochrome. They communicated their thoughts and feelings in a size 48 point font. Men were Janet and John Go Hiking whilst women were Etidorhpa or Finnegans Wake. But still impossible to ignore, complex, capricious and yet completely captivating. He drummed his fingers on the desk. Waited. Stared at the computer screen. Kelly promised Clare would Skype at 8pm. Already it was 8.10pm. Who met a girl through Skype anyway? He grabbed the tin of Stella hidden behind the screen and swigged down several large gulps before hiding it again. Straightened the collar of his new shirt. Tidied his fringe for the tenth time in as many minutes. Coughed to clear his throat. 25 years old and not one girlfriend to his name. Well, one kind of girlfriend when he was 15 who he’d never actually kissed, but otherwise a shameful record. Not that he needed a woman in his life, he couldn’t see how they were going to fit into his routine at all. Women had demands. They liked to go shopping. They liked to talk about stuff he wasn’t interested in, soaps, I’m A Celeb, X Factor and all that nonsense. And probably they would like naff music by Gary Barlow and Michael Bublé, and they would have friends he’d have to meet, parents and family to impress, and she would positively hate it that he didn’t have a car. They wouldn’t understand at all why he hated people so much, why he avoided them whenever possible. He let them deliver his shopping, bring his almost nightly takeaways, fix the satellite and drop off his parcels - and they were in and quickly out again, never an offer of a cup of tea or a how are you doing? People annoyed him. Probably a girlfriend would annoy him even more.
No. Duke just couldn’t see the benefits of a relationship at all. Except for the sex. Of course that would be awesome. Sex. Three letters, one of them an X. Who couldn’t love that word? He didn’t want to think about it all the time. It just popped up so to speak. When he was eating breakfast, or coding, or taking a shower, or putting out the rubbish. Hell, even when they were talking about the Eurozone on the telly. Some naked nymph with curves like an F1 track and equally as racy, dark hair, zero inhibitions, totally crazy about long haired geeks that loved taking taxis everywhere.
Get real, Duke.
Next to him on the floor Jess began to rasp, his only friend in the world other than Kelly. And not even his cat.
‘Are you all right fella?’ Jess popped his head up for a second, gave him a dreamy look and then went back to sleep.
‘It’s probably indigestion, you eat too much fella.’ The computer speakers chimed. The sound sent a sharp shock through Duke’s nervous system. He ran a quick hand through his fringe and stared at the screen. Unknown caller. It had to be her. Clare Sullivan. Duke had stolen a look at her Facebook page through Kelly’s friends list. Dark hair. Brown eyes. Plenty of bikini pictures from a recent holiday to Ibiza. A glamour girl body, a tattoo of a snake on her wrist. Naval piercing. Recruitment Consultant and budding florist. Duke had to hand it to his sister, she knew a lot of gorgeous people. He clicked to answer the call.
Here goes.
But really, I’m not that bothered.